THE LONG GUNS (56) 01/28/2002 9:00p
Gerald McRaney played Rick, the less-cuddly Simon, on "Simon and Simon." Sergeant Hobart makes Rick Simon look really, really cuddly.

Bosco: When you decide to turn it on, look out. Oh my God. I think you were a man in another lifetime.
Yokas: Thank you, that’s beautiful.

{after Yokas gets head butted}
Bosco: You all right?
Yokas: Yeah. I’m ready for my close-up.

Bosco: How’s your head?
Yokas: This head? This head is hard.

Taylor: Flat ass is better than you. You got back clear down your legs.
Carlos: What?
Taylor: Yeah. In fact, when your mama was pregnant with you she must’ve been on that drug "Noassatall."

{to Bosco}
Yokas: You sold me out to your boyfriend Hobart.

Hobart: I got four career kills. Five now. It’s the first time I taste the guy’s blood.

{to Yokas}
Fred: You got head butted. Head butted. I don’t even know what to say about that. I want you to wear a helmet.

{to Yokas}
Fred: How’d you go from being my hottie girlfriend in high school to a gun slinging cop who gets head butted? Huh?

Yokas: So, I was doing some thinking.
Fred: Hmm, how’d it feel?

Yokas: I’m sort of a delicate flower.

Hobart: Nothing calms me down like having a moving target in my sights.

Hobart: On shot, one kill.

Hobart: This is the last shot for the rest of your life. In two one-hundredths of a second you’re either a hero or an incompetent who killed an innocent victim. But when you pull the trigger, somebody dies.

Swersky: So heroes today, all right? We buried enough heroes.

Bosco: I can’t see you as a sergeant.
Yokas: Yeah, well imagine me kicking Christopher’s ass.

{Bosco discovers Flat Stanley in the glove box}
Yokas: He’s gotta get pictures of Flat Stanley at work, or um, on a trip.
Bosco: "Flat Stanley"?
Yokas: Yes, Flat Stanley…And he could have gone to his grandparents, but Charlie is very proud that his mother’s a police officer. So, Flat Stanley’s gonna come to work with us today. You’ll have kids one day, you’ll understand.
Bosco: You know what this makes me think of? Birth control.
Yokas: Get the camera out.
Bosco: Yeah, we should take a cute little shot of him…caught in the shredder.

{about Hobart}
Yokas: You know what? That guy’s a jerk!
Bosco: So are you. So am I. So what? All right? He’s still my friend.

{to Carlos about her and Davis’ relationship}
Taylor: Had I known this would upset you so much, I would have told you sooner.

{to Taylor}
Carlos: I can’t wait until you start riding with Zambimbo tomorrow.

{about Hobart}
Bosco: Guy needs help, all right. Doesn’t know how to ask. Not a lot of people get him, you know.
{Bosco walks away}
Yokas: You talking about Hobart or yourself?

Davis: Oh, you’re cuter than you think, Sul.

Hobart: Everybody’s ashamed to know me. After I served with honor for a lifetime.

{to Bosco}
Hobart: I ought to just shoot you before you screw-up the lives of everybody who loves you.

{about Hobart}
Yokas: Hey, forget about him.
Bosco: I don’t want to forget about him, Faith. Don’t you get it? I don’t want to forget.