OBSESSION (114) 10/15/2004 9:00p
Is that a much more svelte Ethan Suplee of "Boy Meets World" and "American History X" fame? Oh it is. Wooooo! ‘How My Mom Ruins TW for Me’ begins in this episode with its first installment, "Halfway through the Episode My Mom Says: ‘She’s a TEACHER! A Teacher. See I TOLD YOU!’" Thanks, Mom.

Emily: I just can’t deal with this anymore. I don’t wanna be in the middle of you and dad. I don’t wanna be trying to figure out where I should be every night and who I’m supposed to side with.
Yokas: I’m not asking you to take sides with anyone, Emily. I was asking you to share an important night in my life.
Emily: Do you have any idea how many times I wanted you to be somewhere for me and you didn’t show up? I gotta go.
Yokas: Emily…
Emily: It sucks looking at an empty seat in the audience, doesn’t it, mom?

Capt. Finney: No one made you sign up for the IAB.
Monroe: I thought I was looking for corruption.
Capt. Finney: Sergeant Cruz is corruption. She’s a cancer on this department.

Capt. Finney: What would your friends at the 5-5 think if they knew the true nature of your assignment?
Monroe: What?
Capt. Finney: Get Yokas to talk to you about what happened that night, soon, or your jacket’s on the internet.

Jelly: Use this desk. Phone’s there, coffee’s there. One of your jobs as a newbie is to make sure the coffee never runs out. And never, ever, use the Subway Series mug. It’s mine.
Yokas: I’ve never seen you use anything except styrofoam.
Jelly: Don’t use the mug.
Yokas: Got it.
Jelly: Now, most important question. You know a good breakfast joint?
Yokas: What?
Jelly: You know a good place for breakfast?
Yokas: Yeah, I know a place.
Jelly: Welcome to the squad.

{Finney and Sully exchange words in the locker room}
Davis: Let’s go Finney. Let’s go.
Finney: I don’t need your protection, Davis.
Davis: Fine, kick his ass Sully. I don’t give a damn.

{to Yokas}
Jelly: Detectives eat in restaurants. Uniforms eat in cars.

Sully: One universal truth to policing – any day that begins with a domestic is not gonna be a good day.
Monroe: Well, then we’re screwed already.
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Woman: Hi. Uh…we didn’t call the police.
Sully: Oh, we’re here because we care.

{about Aaron}
Monroe: Looks like he taped his own suicide.
Sully: Whatever happened to a good, old-fashioned note?

Grace: So how are you two doing?
Carlos: What?
Grace: You and Holly.
Carlos: No, there is no "me and Holly."
Grace: Oh, that’s not what she said.
Carlos: Why? What? What did she say? She’s out of her mind you know. Completely looney.
Grace: {singing} Carlos and Holly sitting in a tree…
Carlos: That’s real mature!
Grace: K-I-S-S-I-N-G…
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{at Aaron’s apartment}
Carlos: Whoa! Possible DOA?
Sully: I thought I saw him move.
Grace: He’s already started to decompose.
Carlos: Pronouncing at 1537 hours. EMS 24276. Nice try.

{at Aaron’s apartment}
Swersky: DOA?
Sully: I’ve seen few people more DOA.

Sully: Vouchering property from a suicide is a good learning tool for our young office here.
Swersky: Sure is. Handle it, Finney.
Finney: This isn’t our job.
Swersky: Handle it.
Sully: {to Finney} And I bet you signed up for the glitz and glamour.

Sully: If you need anything really disgusting done, make sure and use the new kid.
Jelly: Like you had to tell me that.

Finney: My father told me the only way to get used to stinker smell is stay in it. Your nose is lazy.
Jelly: Yeah? Who’s your father, Mr. Science?

{about suicide}
Jelly: You know, women do this right. Bottle of pills, head in the oven. Never make a mess.
Yokas: Yeah, that’s because we always have to clean everything up.

{Davis and Finney have to stay and watch the stinker}
Yokas: Sorry, guys.
Davis: It’s not your job anymore Faith.

{to Grace}
Carlos: Can you believe they tried to lay a stinker off on us? What, I’m not gonna notice the guy’s decomposing? I got "stupid" stamped on my forehead?

Grace: You ever see that guy before?
Carlos: The dead guy?
Grace: No. The cop. The one with the blue eyes.
Carlos: Blue eyes? Are you kidding me?
Grace: Hey, you got a girlfriend, can't I look for that someone special too?
Carlos: I do not have a girlfriend!

{to Yokas, watching Aaron’s videos}
Jelly: I can tell you how it ends, but I wouldn’t wanna spoil it for you.

{on tape}
Aaron: I know what I have to do. It’s right there…I’m gonna have to kill her.

{seeing Aaron’s drawing of Cindy}
Jelly: Is that what she looks like? She oughta stand out in a crowd. What does she weight, nine pounds?

Yokas: You know what? I could do this myself but, you know, you’re the best detective that I ever saw and I could really use your help.
Jelly: Are you playing me?
Yokas: Absolutely.

{on tape}
Aaron: My mom told me "the opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference." Well, I must be in love, ‘cause I sure as hell don’t feel indifferent. I’m pissed off, and I will not be ignored.

{about Aaron and Cindy}
Jelly: Isn’t it kinda weird that he freaked out about seeing her kiss someone?
Yokas: What do you mean?
Jelly: If she’s got kids, pretty much throws "virginal" out of the picture.

{about Aaron}
Jelly: Looks like he exists on fast food and takeout.
Yokas: Yeah, so does half of New York.

Yokas: Why would he hide that one tape, huh? He left everything else out for us to see, nice and easy.
Jelly: Possibly 'cause he's friggin' out of his mind?

Jelly: We’re gonna need more than female institution.
Yokas: Intuition.

{on tape}
Aaron: I know you think I’m sick in the head. But I’m not. I’m just in love.

Jelly: Yokas!
Yokas: Jelly…
Jelly: Yokas, we got a bomb squad coming.
Yokas: Jelly, there’s kids all over the place. I’m gonna take the box.

Jelly: You know, detectives don’t really do this kind of thing.
Yokas: That’s good to know.
Jelly: Hey, you done good. Look at all the families and kids you saved.

Yokas: I thought detectives worked better hours. I’ve been here for two days straight.
Jelly: If we woulda handled it my way, you woulda been home on time each night. And there woulda been one dead schoolteacher and whatever kids happened to be around her when she blew up.
Yokas: Beginner’s luck.

Jelly: I was married once. Found out my wife was porking the delivery guy from the deli up the block. He delivered for them, I guess mostly sausage.

Jelly: I’ve been there Faith. If you don’t let it go, not good’ll come of it.

{to Monroe}
Davis: So I guess…this means we gotta have make-up sex now, right?