KNOW THYSELF (30) 11/27/2000 10:00p
Soap is slippery. Poison Ivy is itchy. Maurice "the gazelle" Boscorelli can beat Faith "the fastest fifth grader" Yokas in a race. Educational.

Boxer: You compete?
Yokas: Only with myself.

{Bosco falls in the soapsuds}
Yokas: Oh, you got a boo boo?
Bosco: Get away from me!
Yokas: Kiss your rubber ducky?

Bosco: You should be driving, that way if we spot one I can jump out and run after him.
Yokas: I’m as fast as you are.
Bosco: Ha!
Yokas: In the fifth grade I was faster than any other boy in my class. But my teacher said "something must’ve been wrong with the stopwatch." Said "run it again."
Bosco: And?
Yokas: I was so pissed off I ran it faster the second time.

Mr. Bourdreaux: What I want to know is, who screwed up and let ‘em get away in the first place? I don’t know what we payin’ y’all for.
Bosco: You ain’t paying that much, pal.

Bosco: I was always fast.
Yokas: Good for you.
Bosco: Really fast.
Yokas: That’s great.
Bosco: You don’t believe me?
Yokas: Look, I’m sure you were a gazelle.
Bosco: I’ll race you.
Yokas: Right now?
Bosco: What are you afraid of?
Yokas: I’m not afraid of you, that’s for sure.
Bosco: Let’s go.
Yokas: Bosco, we just worked like 16 hours.
Bosco: Mm-hmm. {starts clucking like a chicken}
Yokas: Let’s go, Bruce Jenner.
Bosco: Let’s go.

{after Bosco beats Yokas in the race}
Bosco: I kicked your ass!

Sully: Bosco, with your nose so bright, won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?

Bosco: Chick revenge. It’s gotta be Nicole.
Yokas: Oh yeah. Like she’s the only girl you ever mistreated.

Eric Petrovitch: Leaves of three, let them be.
Bosco: Thanks for the tip.

Yokas: Were you near, like, the statue? Were you near the boats? Where?
Eric Petrovitch: By some trees.
Davis: "By some trees." That really narrows it down, thank you.
Eric: Sure thing, officer.

{to Yokas}
Fred: I’m not your stinkin’ drunk, falling down, bet-the-rent-money-at-a-poker-party father.

Bosco: You always been a control freak?
Yokas: What?
Bosco: When you were a little kid did you boss all the other little kids around the neighborhood?

Bosco: You lied to me?
Yokas: Yeah, I lied to you! Can we please get out of the middle of the road?
Bosco: You looked me in the eye and you lied to me. I felt bad for you.

{to Yokas}
Fred: You work three to eleven. Their whole lives happen three to eleven.

Yokas: It’s like if I don’t hold everything together, you know, it’s just all gonna fall apart.
Mona: Maybe it’s meant to fall apart.

Sully: You look a little puffy there, Bosco. That time of month?

Yokas: We should take Bosco to Mercy and get him a shot.
Sully: What? Why can’t he do it himself?
Yokas: Because he won’t go unless I take him.

Bosco: I stayed up late last night making a list of everybody I could remember in the last couple years.
Yokas: Must’ve used up a lot of paper.

Yokas: You’re getting a shot.
Bosco: No. You can’t make me.
Yokas: You just keep driving Sully.
Bosco: You can’t make me.

{to Bosco about the poison ivy}
Dr. Montville: How in the hell did you let this get so bad?
Sully: His mommy was away, he didn’t know what to do.

{to Yokas}
Sully: You know, you should make it official. Adopt Boscorelli. Then you can list him as a dependent, take him as a deduction on your taxes.

Yokas: I see something wrong, I try to fix it! I take an action! Does that make me crazy?
Sully: It makes you a good cop.
Yokas: Sully, I’m sorry. I’m falling apart on you here, man. I don’t even know you.
Sully: Will you stop saying that? You know me.

{to Yokas}
Sully: You know…sometimes the thing that makes you a good cop, it uh…messes you up as a person.

{to Fred}
Yokas: I have a problem trusting anybody but myself…Now I don’t trust myself anymore.

Yokas: Do you remember when we first got married?
Fred: What about it?
Yokas: I thought you were saving me. Yokas: {whispering} You are that guy.