KIM’S HOPE CHEST (27) 10/30/2000 10:00p
Carlos refers to Bobby as Mother Teresa. Dr. Montville refers to Kim as Miss Chainsaw.

Carlos: We’re being scolded for not bringing in enough junk to dump off on poor people.
Bobby: I brought mine.
Carlos: Big surprise, Mother Teresa.

{about Jackson}
Bobby: Man, that guy won’t die.

Jackson: Tiger Woods ain’t got nothin’ on me.

{about Jackson}
Bobby: This guy keeps going and going.
Kim: It’s for you Bobby, so you can get your weekly cobbler fix.

Bobby: You learn the same things in public school. The only difference is you’re having sex in the subway instead of at the Waldorf.
Kim: You had sex in the subway?
Bobby: Stand clear of the closing doors, baby.

Kim: Help me, or get out of my way, Doc.

Yokas: I got a call for a well-being check and I walked into hell.

{about why Joey doesn’t like his friend Adam anymore}
Joey: He told everyone I made out with Wendy Lapidus and I didn’t.
Kim: "Made out"? You’re six.

{about Kim}
Carlos: Hey, are you and the Looney Toone…
Bobby: What?
Carlos: You know…

{Kim is ignoring Bobby}
Bobby: What is this, seventh grade?

Kim: I am not spending the next five years of my life having Joey listen to his mom audition husbands on the other side of the wall!

{to Kim}
Doc: We’re not God. Sometimes things happen the way they’re supposed to, even if we don’t want them to. And sometimes…we’re supposed to give up. No matter how hard it might be.

{to Melanie, Kim’s sister, about Carlos’ cooking}
Doc: I hope your, uh, health insurance hasn’t lapsed.