A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE (36) 02/05/2001 10:00p
Here's what you should buy them for the holidays: Bosco-Chinese chicken, a dictionary to look-up "regale." Yokas-a coat all her own, that way she doesn't have to continue stealing coats from dead homeless people. Doc-a bulletproof vest would be a good place to start. Carlos-a real flashlight, because right now all he has is a penlight.

Man: Am I dying?
Carlos: We’re all dying, sir.

Yokas: So, I’m supposed to miss my daughter’s birthday because you’re jonesing for Chinese chicken?
Bosco: Who said anything about missing it? All right? And it’s not just any chicken. It’s Empire Schezuan Green Jade Chicken.
Yokas: Oh, I’m sorry. Well, if it’s Green Jade chicken then she’ll understand that.

Bosco: Why does everything have to be my fault?
Yokas: Yeah that’s my question.

Bosco: So, we’re done?
Doc: Yeah.
Bosco: Good, I got a date with a Chinese chicken.

Homeless Lady: Aren’t you clever with your jokes about street people. Maybe later you could regale me with wisecracks about the handicapped. Children are especially fun.
Bosco: "Regale"?

Carlos: So we get waved down at a street corner about a month ago, this guy’s yelling "I’m alive! I’m alive!".
Yokas: That’s a nice change of pace right there.
Doc: Yeah, he told us he was the Lindbergh baby.
Carlos: Doc doesn’t miss a beat, right. Says {imitating Doc} "The Lindbergh baby? Thank God we found you.".
Bosco: You guys talking about the Lindbergh baby that was kidnapped?
Yokas: No Bosco, the other one.

Drug Dealer: That guy’s dead.
Yokas: Obviously. You’re as sharp as a tack.

Yokas: Carlos, there’s like millions of dollars worth of heroin over here.
Carlos: The old guy’s a heroin dealer?
Bosco: No, actually I’m guessing it was the guys with the guns.
Carlos: Oh, yeah, right, right. Why would they keep it down here?
Bosco: They strike you as geniuses?

Sully: What about Boscorelli?
Christopher: What about him?
Sully: Well, I know that uh, he happens to be a very big fan of Wu-Tang Clan.

Kim: You think we’re gonna get a call because you’re looking at the speaker?
Bobby: Well, we’ve never gone this long without having a single call.
Kim: Now Bobby, stop staring.

{about Jimmy}
Taylor: What did he do, screw all their girlfriends?
Kim: Possibly.

Yokas: "They’ll look for us"?
Bosco: Yeah.
Yokas: ‘Cause unless there’s a high-speed chase or some sort of gunplay, nobody expects to see your face until the end of the shift.

{Christopher just used the bathroom}
Davis: He didn’t wash his hands.

{to Taylor}
Jimmy: You should tell Bobby the truth. I’ve always believed that honesty is the best policy.

{to Christopher when they are out looking for Bosco and Yokas}
Sully: We run lights and sirens for emergencies only. This, I believe, is a game of "catch me if you can".

Sully: {into radio} 5-5 Charlie. How do you show sector David?
Christopher: I told you I didn’t want them tipped off.
Sully: Oops.

{talking about regret}
Yokas: Your life’s your life.

Yokas: I think that chocolate wore off.
Doc: We could always eat Bosco.

{to Christopher}
Sully: Looks bad, doesn’t it? Losing cops?

{after shooting a potato off the roof and breaking the rear window of a police car with it}
Lombardo: That was a little off.

Lt. Johnson: And somebody…get Taylor off that damn wall!

Davis: So, what are the odds of a cup of coffee falling out of the garbage full and right side up?
Sully: Slim and none.

{after they get out from underground}
Doc: Who’s driving?
Kim: I’ll drive.
Carlos: Don’t worry. I’ll ride in the back with you.
Doc: Good, ‘cause you’re terrible.
Bosco: Is anybody else in the mood for some Chinese chicken when we get done?
Yokas: All right Bosco, enough with the chicken already.

Sully: Sergeant Christopher, the uh, Captain requests your presence front and center.
Christopher: Did he look mad?
Sully: Not until I finished talking with him, he didn’t.